My Author Journey

I loved books before I could read…

A leader of mine once told me that her earliest memory of me was when she was a teenager. She visited our home and saw me as a 2-year-old with an upside-down Bible on my lap, trying desperately to read the text. I would often fall asleep next to big picture books, the words of which I couldn’t yet understand.

I would rather read…

As a child, I would choose books over toys, and even my love for toys was intertwined with stories. My Barbies, Polly Pockets, and dolls were always getting kidnapped or going through some dramatic rags-to-riches story.

There was almost always a story going on in my head, and I often got (get) in trouble in any family or social gathering, because I’d honestly rather read a book than be stuck in situations I found much less interesting. (Last time I got in trouble in a family gathering, I was writing.)

I never really stopped writing.

I took up Information Technology in college instead of Journalism (which was the only course available for me if I wanted something related to writing), because I knew I didn’t have the outgoing personality necessary to make it in journalism. I never regretted that choice, but I never stopped writing. My college years were full of unfinished manuscripts and half-baked ideas.

My college frustrated-artist friends and I used to joke that we should create a book entitled Ningas Kugon, which is a Filipino term for someone who keeps starting things but never actually finishes. The book would basically just be intriguing stories that have no endings. At that point in my life, I must admit that I didn’t think I was creative enough, tenacious enough to ever finish writing a book.

2007-2012: My Daydreaming Years

2007: I started working as a software engineer in Manila when I was 20. (Now you know my age!) It didn’t take long for me to realize that I wasn’t cut out for a corporate job. The more time I spent doing the work, the more I dreamed of becoming a writer.

During this time, I was writing:

• multiple blogs (Tumblr, Blogspot, etc.)
• a bunch of fan fiction
• a lot of failed first drafts

At this point, writing a novel seemed like an impossible dream. Then I got involved with the Ako Ay Pilipino: Noon at Ngayon (I am Filipino: Then and Now) Movement.

Ako ay Pilipino: Noon at Ngayon

In 2011, David & Lorna Joannes of Within Reach Global gathered multiple Filipino artists and writers to create a coffee table book that explored Filipino history in hopes of further discovering who we are as a country and as Filipinos.

Know your identity. Pursue your destiny.

During this time, I already felt something stirring in my heart. I knew I wanted to become a writer. It felt like that was where God was leading me. I just didn’t know how!

It took several months of prayer and inner struggle before I finally decided to find a way to make a living as a writer. I started taking on freelance jobs as a writer.

In early 2012, I quit my job as a software engineer.

2012-2014: My Ghostwriting Years

It wasn’t long after I quit my eight to five that I became a full-time ghostwriter. From 2012-2014, I wrote more than 15 novellas and 7 full novels for various clients.

To be honest, this was one of the toughest points of my life. Everything seemed to be going wrong, except my ghostwriting gig. I was struggling in so many ways.

When a series I was ghostwriting began taking off — I discovered this by accident, actually — I was convicted by the Holy Spirit upon seeing that a lot of what I was writing wasn’t honoring to God. What was I spreading to the world?

It took a lot of tears and bargaining with God before I obeyed and quit ghostwriting.

2013-2014: I started writing my first novel. I wrote about three chapters before my impatience and lack of self-control made me send a query to my dream literary agent, Karen Ball. I expected a rejection letter, an auto-response. Instead, I got a message asking me to send the full manuscript once I finished writing. I was elated. A full manuscript request! I panicked, and I choked. I couldn’t write more.

That’s when everything fell apart.

The entire first eight months of 2014 are a bit of a blur to me. I don’t remember much. Only that I was severely depressed. I won’t go into detail, because… what for?

Let’s just say God still had His hands in my life. 2014 ended with the unexpected, because I ended up booking a ticket to Thailand to visit the couple who spearheaded the creation of the Ako Ay Pilipino: Noon at Ngayon coffee table book. My two-week vacation with them turned into a four-month life-altering stay that made it clear that God was going to send me to China.

2015-2017: My China Years

I finished writing two books while I was in China: a novel and a devotional.

In 2016, I re-sent my novel to my dream literary agent, who was still working at the Steve Laube Agency at the time. Her assistant kept telling me to wait as the agent was going through personal issues at the time. I waited for four months. Karen stopped being an agent not long after.

I, on the other hand, self-published my first novel in December of 2016.

2016 – My First Novel: The Sacred Scarred

The Sacred Scarred, which proved to be a tongue-twister for many, was my first novel. A modern-day Christian retelling of Beauty & the Beast.

It was mostly family & friends who bought it.

It didn’t take long before the book began sinking to obscurity. I felt like a massive failure.

2017-2018: Learn & Grow

In retrospect, my debut novel’s launch was actually not as bad as I thought it was. The problem?

1. I had no idea what I was doing.
2. The weight of my dreams and expectations was just too much for one book to carry.

I returned to the Philippines in early 2017. While waiting for my next assignment from the Lord, I read a lot, and I wrote a lot.

At the time, it felt like this year was pointless, like nothing was happening, and I was floundering, but in hindsight, what a foundation this year set for me!

From early 2017 to mid-2018:

• I restructured The Sacred Scarred, which became Calysta and the Beast (which I rewrote, revised, and expanded yet again as The Beauty in their Scars)
• I wrote two novelettes
• I finished a new novel
• I was also writing a blog for fun that was unexpectedly taking off

I was so hyped up and ready to launch one book a month for the entire year of 2018!

God, however, had other plans.

Late 2017, it became clear that I was moving to Israel by the middle of 2018. The org I volunteered with made it clear that I would not be allowed to write my books while I’m there.

From January 2018 to May 2018, I released the five books that I’d already written. It felt like I was getting some traction, and if I could just keep going… if only I could…

No.

I tried to delay going to Israel as much as I could, but it was time. I had to go, and I had to stop writing. 

2018-2020: My Israel Years

I will never regret the time I spent in Israel. It taught me a lot. Not only did I get to pray for the nations of the world every day, I also met and lived with people from all over the world, from countries I’ve never even heard of!.

It wasn’t long after I arrived until they assigned me as the publishing coordinator. Even there, I was surrounded by books, none of which were mine.

I won’t lie. It was hard. From June 2018 to September 2019, I couldn’t write my own stuff. Writing, in a lot of ways, became my Isaac.

In October 2019, they allowed me to write my own stuff on my own time (not that I had much of my own time while was there).

Given the environment I was in, I knew I couldn’t write something from scratch, so I turned my two novelettes into full novels.

• Rocking Serene became The One Who Rocked Away.
• Crazy Jenna became The One Who Danced Away.

I publied both in early 2020. All this while I was going through a pandemic, therapy, and my duties at the house of prayer.

2020-2022: Wait… What?!

You have to understand something about me… I always feel like I’m failing, and I sabotage myself (and my books) by being this way.

Even as I write this, I can only thank God for how productive this time period was for me! In the span of 27 months, I wrote and published 5 novels & 2 devotionals! Isn’t that amazing?!

Not only that! During this time, I also designed and published two prayer journals!

 So… uhm… why did this season feel like such a failure? Honestly? It’s because I’m not quite the best at marketing. Because of this…

I wasn’t making much.

2023: I will write anyway…

I spiraled a little in the first half of 2023. All that effort, all that work, all these books. So little to show for it. Barely any reward. I began to question if I’m even a good writer, but I also figured if I’m not, I should find a way to improve, so I kept writing anyway.

I kept trying to get better.

I wrote and published King of the Crown Imperials in 2023.

2024: Panic & choke or Set a Foundation?

King of the Crown Imperials was my most successful book yet, but don’t get me wrong. It still didn’t make much. The difference, however, was that I was genuinely proud of this book. I have no doubt in my mind that it is a good book. I absolutely loved it. I still do.

What I realized, however, was I didn’t feel the same way about my other books.

For most of 2024, I went through my backlist and did what I could to turn them into something I’m proud of, something I love. Because of this undertaking, however, for the first time since I started writing and publishing again in 2020, I wasn’t able to release a book in 2024.

Not only that, I actually took down and unpublished (yet again) my debut series, The Sacred Scarred, which included three books: Calysta & the Beast (formerly my debut novel), Beauty & the Brute, and Brendan & the Belle.

2025: Onward!

I still don’t know what I’m doing most of the time, to be honest, but we’re already a third of the way through in 2025. Calysta and the Beast is now two novels: The Making of a Beauty (just released) and The Beauty in their Scars.

I’m honestly excited about the rest of this year and what’s in store.

I have plans!

But as I’ve already learned, things rarely ever go according to my plans. God always seems to have something else in mind for me, so I trust Him to guide my next steps.

For now, I walk on. I write on.

Whether or not I’ll ever be financially secure through these books or what happens to these books as I continue my author journey, I will follow Him.

I can almost imagine Him with a twinkle in His eye, knowing what He has in store for me (good, I’m sure). He coaxes me to follow as He says…

“What is that to thee? Follow thou Me.”